Rest In Peace, 2025 Baltimore Orioles

It brings me no joy to say this, but the rumors are true: the 2025 Baltimore Orioles are dead.

7 straight losses. 15-31 record. Manager fired. Another brutal loss. Had to pour myself a stiff cocktail after this one today.

It's painful. It's unfathomable. I seriously have no words to describe how I feel or what I'm thinking. It's come to the point where we all just have to accept it. This team fucking stinks.

They have the talent to play respectable baseball, but here we are. Battling with the White Sox for the worst team in the MLB. Anyone else pull up a 2026 Mock Draft tonight? Sadly, I did, but that's partially due to the fact that I have a Mock Draft addiction.

The fact that Jason La Canfora is going around doing victory laps for being "right" is a literal nightmare that I never would have imagined would come true. Yet, here we are. Jason LaOzempic on Foul Territory today saying "look at my timestamps" on takes he's had over the past 2 years. And since the Foul Territory guys have zero idea what is going on in Baltimore, they took him at his word. Jason suggested the O's trade Felix Bautista, and like clockwork, dumbass Erik Kratz suggests trading Bautista to the Phillies to Jim Bowden. Did Bowden even acknowledge that? Nope. Suggested Kyle Finnegan instead, then started talking about Ozempic (how ironic).

I could go on and on about my hatred for JLC, but I'll bring it back to the main point.

This Orioles team is dead.

This team had flaws coming into this year, no doubt about it. The pessimists on the app formally known as Twitter will be the first ones to tell you that they were right. The pitching sucks. Could anyone have predicted that they'd be this bad? Probably not, but the results just adds fuel to the fire for those jabronies. The goal was to bridge the gap until Bradish gets back, and hopefully make a move for another front of the rotation guy. That clearly has backfired in the worst way possible. Grayson got hurt (imagine that?), Eflin got hurt, Kremer has regressed, Povich is what he is at this point.

The hitters have stunk. I feel like I'm doing a disservice for saying "stunk", but I'm trying to limit the amount of fucking cuss words I use when talking about this team. This was the part of the ballclub that was supposed to carry this team. It doesn't make sense how the top end talent on this team is playing so poorly. Adley, who was considered the easiest 1-1 selection since Bryce Harper, continues to suck (I blame the girlfriend). Gunnar looks frustrated as hell. Cowser is hurt. Westburg is hurt. Kjerstad just struck out again. Mayo is on pace to be the greatest AAA player of all time. They have no idea how to deal with adversity. Adley was fucking crying during his interview after the Hyde firing. The only guys who are playing well are Ryan O'Hearn (my guy) and Jackson Holliday, who took advice from checks notes his DAD over advice from the hitting coaches, and is now smoking the ball.

The sad thing is none of our pending FAs or logical trade pieces have any value. O'Hearn is a 1B/DH on an expiring deal. Mullins is hitting, what, .230? Mountcastle had a 12 game hit streak, yet still seems like he's struggling. Eflin and Sugano, the lone bright spots in the rotation, have limited value.

The question now: how much influence does Elias have on this team and roster, and how much blame does he deserve?

There have been reports that Elias was the one who forced Hyde to gut his entire staff this offseason. I wouldn't have an issue with it, considering how last season ended, however the coaches that were brought in are supposedly Elias hires. Is he trying to be Jerry Jones? I say this knowing that my friend, Dundalk Donnie on Twitter X, knows a bit more than I do, but Elias is not very well liked amongst the people who knew him prior to his hiring in Baltimore. At this point, it's clear and obvious that Hyde was the scapegoat. A classic GM move to buy themselves some more time, but unless this team turns it around (and let me tell you, they won't), he's going to be looking for a new job in a few months.

We, as fans, are in a terrible situation. The sustainable success we were promised lasted all of, what, 2 years? I don't know. Maybe it changes. Maybe it doesn't and we just continue to be the bottom feeders of the AL East like we've become used to over the past 25 years. Regardless, this sucks. It's brutal. I hate it.

Go Manny. Go Padres. Fuck this team.

110 days until Ravens @ Bills.